Scuttle from The Little Mermaid has a unique way of understanding the world. (That’s what we love about the word “unique.” It’s a nice-sounding way of saying he was a little bit wrong about a lot of things.) His tips to Ariel are clearly the best things about him, but his understanding of humans might need to be taken with a grain of salt. Or seven.
If we lived in Scuttle’s world, the following changes would have to be made to the dictionary:
Snarfblatt (n.) – A musical instrument.
Foot (n.) – An extremity attached to the human body by the ankle. Primary use is for detecting a pulse or breath sounds.
Dinglehopper (n.) – Metal instrument used by humans to straighten their hair out. Not to be confused with the fork, which is a utensil for consuming food.
Telescope (n.) – Used for making items appear far away. For ideal results, look through larger end. (Warning: mermaids may be closer than they appear.)
There you have it, folks. The world if it were run by The Little Mermaid’s Scuttle. For the record, we’d live in this world if someone gave us the option.