More often than not, Disney Villains are spot on with their debauchery. We scream “NOOO!!” as they swoop in at precisely the right time to carry out their dastardly plans—all with a mischievous look in their eye and an evil smile on their face. We quickly rush to our hero’s defense as their do-good agenda becomes a smoldering pile of rubbish. These villains are at the top of their game and prepared to win it ALL.
And then, naturally, the designated henchman shows up, stumbles, and all evil plans go out the door. We share this exposition with you to prove one point: henchmen aren’t bad after all… and we have the proof to back it up.
That time Kronk lost llama-Kuzco in the marketplace.
Come on, Kronk. You didn’t even try to keep up with Pacha!
When Pain and Panic failed to do away with baby Hercules.
We’ll just count our lucky stars that he didn’t finish the last drop.
When LeFou strikes up the band as Gaston emerges from Belle’s cozy cottage…
…and Gaston ends up unmarried and in the mud. Poor dude, but then again, that’s what you get for trusting a surly man with a silly name.
When Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed failed to hunt down Simba.
Just as Simba was destined for royalty, this small incident was destined to be the KING of blunders. Let’s analyze: Scar commands the trio of hyenas to chase after baby Simba. They race through the gorge in an effort to catch the little guy, when all of a sudden Simba leaps into a thorny briar patch and evades capture. The hyenas return to Scar empty-handed, which inevitably comes back to bite them in the tails when Simba… you know… “returns from the dead” to change the fate of the Pridelands forever. Whoops.
When the huntsman had a change of heart.
We don’t blame him. Who can resist her ivory skin, rosy cheeks, and genuine kindness?
When Mr. Smee shaved an innocent bird’s bottom instead of Captain Hook’s face.
At least Hook’s face was kept nice and warm?
When Lawrence (looking quite dapper and Prince Naveen-like) lost the actual Prince Naveen.
Doctor Facilier is not pleased.
When 99 adorable dalmatians snuck away as Horace and Jasper watched television.
We think they would make awful babysitters.
The reason behind of all of this exposition is to prove one solitary point: Disney henchmen are our friends! Every villain needs a nincompoop by their side because with them, evil will never triumph. But silliness always will.
Who’s your favorite henchman? Tell us in the comments!
