Let’s get real: the Muses basically steal the show whenever they’re on screen in Hercules. That’s the gospel truth. Naturally, we’re obsessed with them. So today we’re imagining all the reasons we wish they could follow us around and constantly sing. Totally normal. Let’s get started.
1. When they correct the narrator five seconds into the movie.
The narrator is no other than Charlton freakin’ Heston. We’re talking Hollywood royalty here. But the Muses are devoted to telling this story the right way, and we immediately want their no-nonsense truthiness to follow us wherever we go.
2. When they’re impossibly coordinated.
We couldn’t do this by ourselves, let alone in sync with five other ladies.
3. When they sing the exposition.
Everyone knows that backstory is important, it sets up what’s to come and lets us know whom to root for. But it’s not always super exciting. Not so with the Muses, who harmonize to such an infectious extent that we seriously wish they would never ever stop singing. Ever.
4. When they have gravitas.
When the Muses sing about Herc never being able to see his parents again, we almost lose it every time. Sure, it’s a sad moment, but that sadness is magnified exponentially by the serious signing chops of these ladies. Why is this useful? Life is dramatic and sometimes we want people to know we’re having a rough day. The next time the grocery store is out of almond milk, the Muses could sing our tragic tale to everyone around us.
5. When they deftly disappear.
Look at that skill. We don’t know quite how this would help us at life, but we have to pause and admire it. That, friends, is an exit.
6. When they alliterate like pros.
A must for any and all potential backup singers as far as we’re concerned.
7. When their high kicks defy logic.
…And gravity, and physics, and all the science. Why wouldn’t we want an entourage of ladies who could kick like this? This is never not going to be useful.
8. When they engage in real talk.
We want our backup singers to tell us when we’re doing something stupid. We think of them as friends… that we pay to follow us around. Anyway, aforementioned stupid things would include denying our love for a demigod who loves us back, and is super cute, and nice, and sweet, and has the pecs.
9. When they’re used structural support.
A very practical bonus, if you ask us.
We rest our case. What’s your favorite thing about the Muses? Tell us in the comments!
