Editor’s note: We recently discovered that one of our Oh My Disney writers had never seen The Nightmare Before Christmas, so we promptly locked her in a room and whispered through the door crack that she was shunned until she watched it. These are her unabridged thoughts from her very first viewing of the greatest stop-motion animated film of the ‘90s.
Wow! That looks a lot like the castle from Cinderella! Oh wait, no—this is the Walt Disney Pictures logo. Embarrassing. Ooh, spooky music. Red text. Is this going to be scary? I don’t want to get scared. It’s Wednesday at 2:00pm in an office building and I’m concerned I might get scared.
“This Is Halloween.” Oh boy, I know this tune. Wow, this movie is beautiful. Stop-motion animation and somehow they’re making things rustle in the wind! Sorcery!
I love all these monsters. This is absurdly charming. And macabre. How do you pronounce “macabre”? These monsters have so much hometown pride. Even the guy with snake fingers and a spider on his head … do you think he and that spider are friends so he lets it stay on his head, or maybe he just can’t brush it off his head because his fingers are snakes?
What is on the mayor’s head? Is that a witch hat? A plunger? There’s a clown with a tear-away face and I’m … scared. The rubber chicken on his belt probably has more of a soul than he does.
Is that Sally brushing her hair against the fence? She has the best hair-flowing-in-the-wind game I have ever seen in my life.
OKAY, the guy who claims to be the shadow on the moon at night is not cool with me and I’m scared again. This is the nightmare part, isn’t it? There’s a nightmare part before the part with the Christmas? That’s what I think I’ve been promised.
The monsters just said, “We’re not mean.” I feel better already. Still want answers on the mayor’s hat!
A scarecrow on a strawhorse. The scarecrow is alive. The scarecrow is on FIRE. He put himself out. He’s coming out of the fountain. He’s a skeleton! A dapper, well-dressed, fabulous skeleton.
Everyone in this town claps for the dapper skeleton. They are so supportive. I love this movie. High fives and chest bumps all around! They’re so proud. The dapper skeleton proclaims this their “most horrible Halloween yet.” I love him.
Sally is watching lovingly—who’s that man grabbing her? He’s mad she left the house. Did he just pull off her arm? I think she helped him do it, but still. High stakes, high drama. Her arm can hit him even after it’s severed. That’s pretty cool.
The mayor’s giving out Halloween awards. Still unsure about his hat situation. “Most Blood Drained in a Single Evening” goes to the vampires. Is this like a participation trophy ceremony? Does literally every monster get an award catered specifically to their one job?
Jack Skellington, the dapper skeleton, is really forlorn, it turns out. This Halloween was “just like last year, and the year before that…” The Pumpkin King is unhappy and the plot thickens. Jack trots off through a graveyard and summons the cutest ghost puppy named Zero with a jack-o-lantern for a nose. I’m in love.
Sally’s spying on Jack as he sings about wanting more from his life. She totally loves him.
It looks like Sally has secretly fed that guy deadly nightshade three times this month (NOT SO DEADLY THEN IS IT?) because he won’t let her leave the house. That’s not cool of him.
The Mayor comes looking for Jack and I think I have his hat figured out. The Mayor’s “plans for next Halloween” are mostly illustrations of skulls and cats. Jack’s not home, however.
The sun in Halloween Town is a jack-o-lantern! This movie.
Jack stumbles into a circle of trees with different holiday icons on them … and gets sucked into the Christmas Tree tree. It’s beautiful in this Christmas Town and Jack is delighted. His delight delights me. I’m so stoked for Jack. He loves Christmas! He loves tiny elf children sleeping soundly and no ghouls under the bed.
The residents of Halloween Town still can’t find Jack, and Sally’s doing the old nightshade trick again. But Dr. Finkelstein’s onto her and makes her try the poisoned soup first. Uh oh, Sally. How are you getting out of this?
HOLES IN THE SPOON? You’re a genius, Sally. I’m sorry I doubted you.
The mayor is so beside himself at Jack’s disappearance that he’s lying on his back looking up at the sky. I relate—I do that often. But wait! Jack’s back—with a sled—and he wants the mayor to call a town meeting. This isn’t going to end well for you, Jack.
Wow. Calling a town meeting literally means driving through town yelling “TOWN MEETING” in a megaphone.
Jack’s making a little presentation of a sample Christmas to try to sell the town on the idea. They’re kind of bewildered but doing their best to understand.
Jack decorated his bedroom to look like the coziest attempt at Christmas I’ve ever seen, and he’s surrounded by books about Christmas. The one on his bed is called “Bobo Gets a Firetruck.” Geez, spoiler alert. Jack says, “There’s got to be a logical way to explain this Christmas thing…” And then he pulls out a book called “SCIENTIFIC METHOD.” This movie is hilarious.
Jack visits Dr. Finkelstein to borrow some science stuff for “a series of experiments,” which apparently means looking at holly under a microscope and crushing up ornaments to boil them in bunsen burners. Jack’s adorable.
Sally watches Jack through the window of the room she’s locked in … and jumps out? Oh, it’s fine, she’s sewing herself back together. Don’t scare me like that, Sally. Dr. Finkelstein’s gonna be mad, I bet.
Yep, confirmed mad.
Science! You’re doing it so right, Jack.
Sally has a vision that this Christmas business is going to end terribly. I’m with her. She seems like she knows what’s up.
Everyone in town is gossipping that something’s wrong with Jack, who has a private moment in which he decides to take over Christmas! He starts assigning everyone jobs. Lock, Shock, and Barrel show up and Jack has a secret job for them. Is the job to have creepy evil laughs? Because they already have that down. Jack tells them to leave Oogie Boogie out of this and they are so not going to leave Oogie Boogie out of this.
The secret job is kidnapping Santa. The three of them sing about putting him in a trap and boiling him like a lobster, burning him for ninety years and then seeing if he talks, that kind of thing. I don’t think these kids understand what “kidnap” means.
Minor key “Jingle Bell” rehearsals are underway back at Jack’s. Sally warns him about her ominous vision. Jack’s not listening to her and he totally should. She’s a genius.
The whole town is collaborating to make Christmas happen. They’re messing up all these toys and making them spooky. This movie is so wonderfully weird.
Jack looks adorable in his Santa outfit and fake beard. It makes sense to me that skeletons can’t grow their own beards. The kids capture Santa and take him off to Oogie Boogie. “Haven’t you heard of peace on earth and goodwill towards men?” Santa asks them. Really, Santa? Try to keep up.
Sally’s got fog juice. I just love how Sally has this massive apothecary containing bottles of everything. She’s going to try to make it foggy to stop Jack from riding off in his sleigh and probably meeting certain doom. She’s so clever.
Oogie Boogie has Santa and I am really, truly concerned for Santa’s safety because Oogie’s tongue is literally a snake and bugs appear to be coming out of his seams and I am scared, good gosh, I am scared.
Sally fog juices the fountain. This girl always has a plan. Jack’s devastated until he realizes: Zero with your nose so bright, won’t you light the way tonight? (Paraphrase.) Sally’s song is so sweet. I’m so sad for her. She loves Jack so much.
Jack’s living his dream of playing Santa Claus but quite frankly messing everything up, and by that I mean he just gave a small child a shrunken head for Christmas. At least two people call the police to claim they were “attacked by Christmas toys.” Are the police supposed to arrest the toys or…?
Jack continues leaving horrifying presents for innocent people. Word spreads and everyone starts barricading their doors. The police station is overwhelmed. News broadcasters say the MILITARY is mobilizing. Jack, what have you done?!
THEY WEREN’T KIDDING! The military is trying to shoot down Jack’s sleigh! This escalated so quickly!
Sally’s going to save Santa. Thank goodness someone around here knows what they’re doing. She detaches her leg to distract Oogie, detaches her hands so she can get Santa’s attention … Sally is a genius. Sally for mayor!
They hit Jack’s sleigh! As he goes down he yells “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.” Poor Jack tried his best. I’m going to cry. The mayor’s driving around through Halloween Town telling everyone Jack’s been blown to smithereens and they are devastated and so am I.
A stone angel caught Jack! He’s okay! I guess you can’t die if you’re already a skeleton? Jack sings about regretting all this madness (you’re not the only one, Jack, there is a kid out there who got a shrunken head for Christmas). He’s ready to be the Pumpkin King again and I think I’m ready for that too … but first to set things right!
Oogie Boogie caught Sally trying to rescue Santa and now both of them are in SERIOUS trouble. Jack, where are you??
Oh, there he is. Jack battles Oogie, who has set up a million death trap obstacle courses, and then finally Jack unravels his seams and OOGIE BOOGIE IS MADE OF BUGS and I’m going to have nightmares, I’m going to have so many nightmares.
Oogie is defeated, Jack is contrite, Santa is miffed but willing to forgive. “The next time you get the urge to take over someone else’s holiday,” he says, “I’d listen to Sally. She’s the only one who makes any sense around this insane asylum!” Santa GETS me.
Santa saves Christmas and everyone in Halloween Town is so stoked that Jack’s back. It starts to snow and everyone loves it! Everything about this movie is charming.
Ha! Dr. Finkelstein made a Mrs. Dr. Finkelstein.
Jack follows Sally up to his moonlit hilltop and confesses his love.
They are the best couple in the world, it’s “simply meant to be.”
You know what else was simply meant to be? This movie. I give it an A++ and I’m not even a little bit mad I got locked in this room to watch it. Cheers!
