Being a Disney Villain is rough. Every day, you wake up, just trying to spread some bad vibes and further whatever greedy plan you’ve put in motion, but inevitably something happens to stop you. Some hero comes along and saves the day, or you’ve miscalculated your spell, or someone you’ve be relying on to ruin lives doesn’t end up ruining them. Ughhhh. In solidarity with these unfortunate truths, read about some of the things villains are up against and ask yourself who the real hero is in your favorite Disney movie:
You can’t get good help anywhere these days. If you’re trying to poison the emperor, do it yourself. Relying on others only wastes precious time (and precious poison).
Yuck. Look what that Evil Queen has to deal with when delivering the poisoned apple: a smile and a warm welcome. What’s the point of villainy if you don’t even have to put in a little effort? Plus, it’s this same goodness that usually spells ruin for the villainous type in the end.
Song and Dance
If anyone but yourself breaks into song, honestly what is the point?
The Price of Magic
Ultimate cosmic power? Itty-bitty living space.
Is there no justice? Better question: Can there be a little less justice?
Karma in Practice
There’s always the potential for history to repeat itself. Like, say if you’ve hatched a plan to take the throne from your brother, your nephew might grow up to do something similar to you. Sadly, what goes around comes around.
Imagine being the only soul in the entire kingdom to not get an invite to the party. That type of thing messes with a villain’s self-esteem for life.
Encounters with Others
Other people are just not as good as you. They’re less dashing, strong, they eat less protein, etc. It’s so much better to avoid them altogether, unless they’re one of your many fans, that is.
How much time does Captain Hook spend berating his crew, hiding from the croc, and sword fighting without accomplishing his ultimate goals?
No one can survive a swim in the super unsanitary waters of the Underworld, except for Hercules, apparently.
Can you think of any other problems Disney Villains have to put up with? Tell us in the comments!