Winnie the Pooh has a knack for finding a snack and also for never wearing pants. We’ve got to hand it to this chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff: he pulls off the red-shirt-no-pants look pretty flawlessly. But Pooh’s apparel choice is about more than just fashion; it’s functional. After all, he is a very thoughtful bear. Pants aren’t important in the Hundred Acre Wood, and here’s why:
1. It’s easier to do your morning dance without pesky pants in the way.
♫ A Pooh Bear takes care of his tummy, he fills it with things that are sweet ♫
2. There’s no time for putting on pants when you have a friend in need.
First things first, lost tails must be found! Tracking down something near to your friend’s heart takes precedence over pants, of course.
3. Pants are strange … possibly stranger than strange words.
When you’re a willy, nilly, silly old bear, you encounter lots of strange troubles and strange words during an average day in the Hundred Acre Wood. Who needs a strange, restrictive garment to add to that list? Not, you Pooh Bear.
4. Fluff happens.
This chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff is, well, stuffed. With fluff. Popping a seam can be easily remedied, but pants could seriously delay this process. No pants, no problem.
5. Sometimes things get messy.
Pants are one less thing to have to worry about washing. Not having any is just good planning, really.
6. A rumbly tumbly can’t be contained.
Was that the rumble of a beastly Backson? Nope, that was just Pooh’s tummy. And judging by the way that thing rumbles, pants would stand no chance against his buoyant belly.
7. Eventually all thoughts will revolve around food and you will forget about pants anyway.
“As Pooh watched the honey honey away, his honey honey honey honey…”
8. The quest for honey means going places where no un-pantsed Pooh Bear has gone before.
So he does care, so he’ll climb there. This Pooh Bear will do whatever it takes to get the sweet, sweet golden honey. He will run, he will tumble, and he will crawl to the ends of the Hundred Acre Wood to get what his tummy desires. Pants are just a distraction. You can’t let them get in the way.
9. If you don’t wear pants, you won’t get attached.
Have you ever lost or outgrown one of your favorite pairs of pants? Oh, bother! It is a devastating feeling. Fortunately, Pooh will never know this sorrow.
10. Rescuing friends from a booby trap may require some flexibility.
Helping friends up the letter ladder may require some squatting. No fear of ripped seams for this cuddly companion (pants seams, at least).
Pooh is an inspiration to us all.