Like catchy melodies and men dancing in unison, boy bands and Disney are a combination that is just meant to be.
We’ve done a fantasy Disney prince boy band lineup before, and now it’s high time we revisit this most important of ideas using even more of our favorite Disney guys. Behold, the product of hours of spirited debate and giddy imagination:
Charismatic Lead Singer: Naveen
As fan favorite and outspoken frontman, Naveen would charm his way into everyone’s hearts with the timeless combination of wild dance moves and ukulele skills. His strong personality would eventually lead to him amicably parting ways with the band to pursue a solo career replete with high-profile relationships and sketch comedy show hosting appearances.
Best Singer Who is Also Nicest Guy: Quasimodo
Though sometimes overlooked by casual observers, Quasi will do the heavy vocal lifting and maintain the most loyal crew of core fans, who we suspect would enthusiastically refer to themselves as “Quasi-locos.”
Friendly Hottie: Hercules
Herc subverts the expectations his impressive physique implies by never forgetting his humble roots. He loves interacting with fans more than anyone else. Paparazzi will often catch him in the act of changing strangers’ flat tires while posing for fan selfies and handing out $100 bills.
Lovable Provider of Witticisms: Kristoff
Kristoff’s undeniable charm and devil-may-care attitude ensure that he can get away with saying things the rest of the band is thinking. He’d have a strong social media presence, give great soundbites during interviews, and always get the last word when the band is giving an acceptance speech during awards shows.
Dashing and Beloved Replacement Frontman: John Smith
After a nationwide search to fill the gap left by Naveen’s departure from the band for his solo career, the boys will recruit John Smith for his gentle, understated vocals and comfortingly stoic stage presence. As his popularity grows, he’ll release the occasional solo and Christmas albums to meet fan demand (they’ll call themselves John Smittens, we’re 99% sure).
Hype Man: Shang
This band member is commonly found hyping up the crowd with backflips and various other feats of parkour. As the band’s behind-the-scenes leader, he can commonly be found choreographing everyone within an inch of their life and expecting nothing less than perfection.
Slightly Unpredictable but Always Entertaining B-boy: Peter Pan
He’ll rap the occasional bridge and take up the breakdancing mantle whenever necessary. He’s the least predictable member of the group (the Rolling Stone write-up as the band’s star rises will describe him as a “loose cannon”), but his boyish charm and broad appeal render him immune from reprimands from the band manager (Lilo).
Mysterious Hottie: Tarzan
More like GUITARzan. (Anybody? Anybody?) Tarzan would fill the crucial role of mysterious, quiet, oldest brother figure whose brooding nature belies his haunting harmonies. No one would be quite sure of where he came from, but everyone would be quite sure that his plaintive guitar solos and lyrical abilities bring tears to the eyes of children and adults alike.
What’s your dream Disney boy band lineup? Sound off in the comments!