People tend to think being a clownfish is all fun and games, when in fact being a clownfish sometimes requires embarking on an epic journey across the ocean to save one’s son. For the adventurous souls who wish to visit 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney by way of sea, surfing the East Australian Current (or EAC, for those in the know) is a must. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled this handy guide.
Step one: Locate the EAC.
Look for a giant, blue swirl. You can’t miss it! (Optional: Swimming over the trench and bouncing your way through a dangerous forest of “squishies.”)
Step two: Join forces with a group of totally radical turtles.
It is definitely recommended to give them some fin, and maybe some noggin’. An alliance with the turtles is key to safely surfing the EAC.
Step three: Grab shell and prepare for some super-awesome action.
It’ll be the ride of your life and—say it with us now—TOTALLY righteous! Just try not to hurl; the shells are freshly waxed.
Once you’re ready to alight, continue with the following:
Step four: Find your exit buddy.
Then confirm you have your exit buddy.
Step five: Receive a rundown of proper exiting technique.
Step six: Crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall.
Watch out for the screaming bottom curve!*
*We worked really, really hard to translate cute turtle speech.
Step seven: Rip it, roll it, and punch it!
Failure to do so may compromise your ability to exit the EAC.
Step eight: Get pushed into the swirling vortex of terror.
Congrats. You did it! Rock on.
Just remember, if you can make it through the EAC, it will be indisputable that you. so. totally. ROCK (duuuuuude)! Now go and have a whale of a time.
