A Guide to Being the Mike Wazowski of Your Friend Group

Raise a claw in the air if you’re the runt of the class, the underestimated goofball, the scaly, green-soccer-ball-looking secret leader of the pack. Fear not if you have more in common with Mike Wazowski than just an affinity for teddy bears – we’ve got a handy guide to help you navigate everyday life.

1. You didn’t file your paperwork.


Flatter, flatter, flatter. And if that doesn’t work on the clerk in charge of filing, flatter some more. The key phrases here are: “tender, oozing blossom” and “succulent little garden snail.”

2. You haven’t had a chance to drive your new six-wheel car yet.


The whole reason for buying the car was to drive it, like on the street. It may take awhile but remain patient and keep reinforcing it to your friends – you’ll get to do the honk-honk and vroom-vroom eventually.

3. You get left behind/easily hidden in photos.


Push your way to the front–everyone will understand. Or maybe they’ll see the top of your hat at least?

4. It’s your time to shine on TV and you are blocked by a company logo.


Who cares if visibility was low? You. Were. On. TV!!  Besides, you’ll probably get another chance at fame, like, say, a magazine cover?

5. Some co-workers just overheard you yelling about a less than savory secret you have with your best friend.

Mike Wazowski James P Sullivan Monsters, Inc.

Turn it into a musical! Literally anything seems okay if you sing about it loudly and proudly enough.

6. You’ve just been separated from your Shmoopsie Poo in a wild frenzy as a human child infiltrates the city.

11 Disney Foods We Want to Eat Right Now, Mike and Cynthia, Monsters Inc.

Well there’s not really much you can do here besides hide in a panic.

7. Said Shmoopsie Poo might be a little angry about you abandoning them.


Call them even more pet names and be really vague but apologetic as to your reasons why. They’ll understand once they see your undeniably creepy foe get in the way.

8. You’ve been banished to a freezing mountain for a possibly preventable reason.

Yeti says welcome to the Himalayas in Monsters Inc

As tempting as they are, ignore the yellow snowcones! Focus on being scrappy and make some skis out of the friendly abominable snowman’s supplies to get back home.

9. You need a new source of energy for the entire city.

Mike Wazowski Got Talent

Sure, everyone screams for, well, screams, but that’s so yesterday’s news. They say laughter is the best medicine for a reason and with your great comedic timing you can certainly get enough energy worthy of a mic drop (or mic swallow).

What’s your favorite thing about this round, green monster? Let us know in the comments!

Posted 5 years Ago
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