Enlightening, informative, entertaining and always flawless advice about life, love, career, beauty, shopping and living la vida diva!
“What made you decide to take up martial arts and who was your trainer? As a fabulous modern actress you could easily hire security for protection, but instead you like to handle things yourself like a boss.” – Alain Diaz
I was actually saving this story for my as yet unwritten memoirs, “Moi: The Story of Moi.” But what the heck, I might as well tell you … and see if I can get publishers into a bidding war for the book. Clever, no? Oui! … Uh, what was the question again? … Oh, yes: Why did I decide to take up martial arts? Before I was a star, I discovered that the mean streets of the city could be rough for an extremely attractive ingénue like moi. I was constantly being harassed and harangued. It was moi against the sometimes cruel world. Fortunately, as a recent student of Mister Wong at the Sayonara Charm School & Karate Dojo, I had the training to take matters into my own hands – and use those hands to break boards, bricks and bothersome harassers and haranguers. Believe me: I don’t use my martial arts skills unless absolutely forced to. And, of course, these days I have a publicist, agent, lawyer, and an enormous entourage to handle such things. But it’s always nice to know that when push comes to shove, I can hiiii-yaaa with the best of ‘em.
“I’m getting married next month. Do you have any advice for a couple of Muppet fans like us?” – @joehennes
Congratulations to you both! And my first word of advice is: invite moi to the wedding reception! I simply adore weddings: the dresses, the flowers, the food, the music, and dancing with all those cute guys you’ll never ever see again! Everyone has such a great time acting silly and being foolish — except of course for the bride, who suddenly realizes she’s married to her groom and can no longer mingle with the cute guys she’ll never ever see again. Oh, but forget that! Have fun! Enjoy your wedding day! As for marriage itself, good luck with that, too. But, seeing as I’ve never been married (yet) I haven’t a clue what happens after the wedding and reception. I understand marriage can be pretty good, too. Give it a shot and let moi know how it works out.
“Who do you wish you could interview, but never had the opportunity?” – (((chip_uni)))
I have interviewed and been interviewed by almost everyone. But there is one “get” I’ve never “got,” Beyonce. She and moi have so much in common – talent, looks, power and a singing voice that is without compare. I would love to sit down for a chat with her – on or off the record (if we go on the record, I’m pretty sure that record would instantly go platinum).
So, Bey, if vous are out there reading this, pick up the phone and let’s get together and dish? Moi’s place or yours!
Submit your advice questions to @MissPiggy and @OhMyDisney on Twitter and check back to see if you’re featured in the next column!