The barbershop industry in Arendelle must be incredibly lucrative, because we were recently re-watching Frozen and noticed that facial hair is really having a moment in this movie. Everywhere you look, there is a perfectly groomed beard, mustache, or sideburn combo worthy of our praise. As such, we decided to rank these follicular achievements in order, from “least delightful” (but still pretty good, to be honest), to “OMG, the most delightful.” Here we go.
Kai’s sideburns are well-groomed, but a little small for our liking. With so many large sideburns later in the movie, we unfortunately had to rank his look pretty low. But Kai is still great.
Nothing against sideburns—you’ll see one even make our top 10—but these just don’t reach their full potential. The sideburns on the right are a little messy, and we could use some more volume in the sideburns on the left.
These guys are only ranked this low because we can only see them from a distance. Their faces do appear to be neatly-shaven, which is impressive, since they are clearly awake before the crack of dawn.
The sideburns here perfectly compliment the Bishop’s hat. It’s a perfect look for Elsa’s coronation, but it’s missing the wow factor needed to top this list.
We really enjoy the fluffiness of these sideburns.
Honestly, if these weren’t paintings, they’d be much higher up on the list. They are pretty solid facial hair looks.
Yes! That is a well-groomed sideburn, shaved with precision! Do you think Percy shapes these ‘burns himself or gets them professionally done?
This ice worker’s mustache gives us major Clark Gable vibes.
Yes, this is Flynn Rider (and Rapunzel) from Tangled! Though we don’t get to see the front of his face, we can tell from the side that this is a polished, smoldering goatee.
Now that’s what we call sideburns! They go on for days.
This mustache gives us 1980s vibes, in a good way! It’s perfectly trimmed and just full enough to make a statement, without being the only thing you see on this man’s face. Which is good, because we’re wondering where we can get a pair of those tiny glasses.
Are we being too generous with this beard? Even though we spotted it only from afar (the guy behind Sven!), we can tell it’s been grown with love and care. He’s even completed the look with a wide-brimmed hat. Overall, we like what we see.
15. It’s a tie!
These two men not only have similar jobs as royal guards, their mustaches are really similar! Maybe it’s all part of their uniform.
We appreciate the amount of time this ice worker must have taken to get this close of a shave as early in the morning as he must have done. Impressive.
This handlebar mustache in the background is a very good mustache. It could probably win some competitions IRL. However, because we could only see half of it, we did not rank it higher. Who knows—maybe the other half is completely shaved!
Ugh. Hans. We don’t like that he is ranked so high on this list, but those are some truly magnificent ‘burns. We can’t deny it!
We are delighted by this man’s bushy beard. It fits his facial structure perfectly.
The way this red mustache mirrors this man’s red hair is positively elegant. He picked the perfect suit color to complement it, as well.
This pencil-thin mustache works really well on Anna and Elsa’s father, the King. Narrow ‘stache for a narrow face.
While we aren’t 100% sure this isn’t the man from #17, we figured it was better to honor him twice than to leave one of them off the list. This is an excellent boxy and well-trimmed beard/mustache/sideburns combo. 10/10.
The Duke of Weselton’s bodyguard must spend a lot of time on these L-shaped sideburns, because they are groomed to perfection. Let’s hope the other side matches!
What can we even say about the Duke of Weselton? We love the way his mustache covers his mouth, as if he had something to hide (which is perfect, since he does!).
These are apparently called “friendly muttonchops,” which is ironic considering the fact that the Duke of Weselton’s bodyguards are not that friendly! But he has what it takes to wear this kind of hairstyle on his face.
It was once said that “a thing of beauty is a joy forever.” Well, this facial pair masterpiece is a thing to behold. Look at it! It’s the same thickness all around, and it wraps perfectly and completely around the face. You can tell a lot of thought went into getting it this precise.
Now we get why these are called friendly muttonchops! Oaken has nailed this look, which is why he has claimed the bronze medal!
This anonymous man singing “Frozen Heart” at the beginning of Frozen gets the silver medal, because he is giving us the hipster lumberjack look of our dreams! This is magazine-cover, male-model worthy. We bet there’s a man-bun hidden under that hat, too.
This perfection has left us speechless, and the look on this dignitary’s face seems to say, “I know.”
Who has your favorite facial hair in Frozen? Let us know in the comments!