The seasoned sailor and essential member of Captain Jack Sparrow’s pirate crew, Joshamee Gibbs, has a lot of ideas about life … most of them superstitious. With Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales opening in theaters today (get your tickets here!), we thought now would be the perfect time to review some important life lessons imparted by this sea salt expert navigator before we sail into the weekend. Let’s discuss:
1. It’s bad luck to sing about pirates at sea in a murky fog.
If we were in the middle of the ocean surrounded by an eerie mist, we wouldn’t want anyone singing about pirates, either. Or sharks. Or storms. We’re totally onboard with this advice.
2. It’s bad luck to wake a man when he’s sleeping.
Especially if you wake him up like this. Don’t do it. Also, we don’t recommend falling asleep on pigs.
3. It’s bad luck to bring a woman aboard a ship … even a miniature one.
Young Elizabeth Swann has our reaction to his advice:Questionable words, mate. We think sailors and pirates would be lucky to have a woman on deck. But we still love you, Gibbs. Moving on.
4. Give nothin’ back.
Nothin’. See this Aztec gold? Whether you find it, steal it, or take it, don’t give it back. Finders, keepers. Savvy?
5. Be daft like Jack.
Always have an element of surprise to throw off your enemies. No one will ever expect your unexpected plan—not even you!
6. Remember to keep to the code.
(Unless you’d rather think of the code as guidelines.)Aye, the code. The most memorable code rule being that if someone invokes the right of parley, they’re guaranteed protection until they’ve had a chance to negotiate with the ship’s captain. However, if an accord can’t be reached, good luck to ya.
Which brings us to another important code rule:
7. Any man who falls behind is left behind.
So keep up. (And don’t fall.)
Excellent advice, Gibbs. The list could go on, but 7 is a lucky number, so we’ll pause here and slow clap at this brilliant life advice.
Now go see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales in theaters today! Yo ho!