We heart the Jungle Cruise. For so many reasons, really. The animals, the comic relief, the chance to point and stare at people waiting in line for Indiana Jones… but we digress. The only thing we don’t like about the Jungle Cruise is that we can’t ride it all day, everyday. Luckily, we can talk about its awesomeness, and relive its greatest moments, until our next visit to the Park! So, welcome aboard the world famous Jungle Cruise! (Note: our skipper gets paid for the number of people he takes out… not the number he brings back.)
We begin at a leisurely pace down the river, only to spot a Bengal tiger!
We ooh, we aahh. Then the skipper tell us that Bengal tigers can jump over 20 feet, and we must be at least, well…19 feet away! (Yikes).
He lets us know that it’s safe to take pictures! All the elephants have their trunks on.
Because trunks can refer to swimming shorts or their noses! Good one, Jungle Cruise.
Then things get dicey. You know the part we’re talking about.
THAT ZEBRA ISN’T SLEEPING!
The skipper POINTS out that this rhino seems to be getting his POINT across…
…but we’re sure that guy on the bottom will get it IN THE END. (Cause the Rhino has its pointy tusk reaeaally close to the rear end of that poor safari-goer.) Muahaha! (We added the maniacal laughing, that doesn’t happen on the cruise. But it should, right?)
Or how about this moment, when the skipper gets us all excited only to reveal…
…the backside of water. Whomp whomp. We’ll forgive, because we’re on a boat and really have no choice but to keep going.
Then the boat enters hippo territory.
But don’t worry. Our fearless guide says they’re only dangerous when they wiggle their ears and blow bubbles… wait …uh oh.
And who could forget head salesman, Trader Sam? We’re told he’s offering a two-for-one special:
Two of his, for one of yours! Not gonna lie, we totally believed this one when we were kids. (Momentary terror would follow.)
We hope you enjoyed this punny (see what we did there) and educational tour of the jungle. We know we did.