There’s no shame in having a little smackerel of something sweet to eat now and then. Everyone does it. But some people/bears allow their love of honey to take over their lives, motivating their every action, affecting friendships and waistlines alike. Here are some signs to watch for if you think you or a loved one might have a honey problem.
You might have a honey problem if…
You find it difficult to make everyday decisions, because honey is so distracting.
You step on your friend’s head while you raid his hut for honey.
Your home is littered with empty honey pots.
You put yourself in potentially dangerous situations to acquire honey.
Bonus points if you put your friends in potentially dangerous situations to acquire honey on your behalf.
You drop by your friends’ houses unannounced, mostly so that they’ll be forced to offer you a helping of honey for lunch…
And maybe you sort of take advantage of their hospitality.
Your main motivation for exercising is so that you’ll work up a bigger appetite so that you can eat more honey.
And, despite your exercise routine, you still find yourself stuck in doorways, mostly because you gorge yourself on honey so freely.
Your friends start to look like honey.
You hatch outlandish schemes to steal honey from bees, such as dipping yourself in mud and pretending to be a raincloud. Because that makes sense.
You have psychedelic hunger visions filled with oceans of honey wherein you are dressed in a dapper, bee-inspired outfit.
And you like these psychedelic hunger visions…
Until you realize that the mud puddle you’re sitting in isn’t actually honey… it’s mud.
And finally, you might have a honey problem if you start spelling it with it’s alternative spelling, “hunny.” Once that spelling error is in place, your transformation into a honey fiend is complete.