Castles: what’s not to like? Royalty, flying buttresses, really big kitchens, moats, wall carpets, dungeons. We’re big fans. Nay, aficionados. So we’ve put together a completely nonsensical ranking of all of our favorite Disney castles. Because we needed a little extra magic in our day. Join us, won’t you?
The Evil Queen’s Castle, Snow White
We like the fact that this castle is on a hill, ‘cause being higher up than peasants seems like a natural perk of living in a castle. Bonus: the hills provide a natural defense in case of attack. Yeah, we think about these things. However, the fact that the Evil Queen lords over it doesn’t make it ideal. We’re giving The Queen’s castle a 2 out of 5.
King Stefan’s Castle, Sleeping Beauty
First of all, kudos to whoever trims the shrubbery surrounding this castle. Those are some well-manicured trees. Second, this castle seems to exist in pastel colors and there’s nothing we love more than a pastel color palette to sooth us at the end of a long day. We’re giving Stefan’s castle a 3.5 out of 5.
Prince Charming’s Castle, Cinderella
This castle looks almost impossibly vertical. We’re fans of the impossible, so that’s a perk. We also like the color scheme, it’s almost like the castle is just another cloud floating in the sky. We appreciate how it oversees the village, but isn’t imposing. That’s classy. We’re giving Prince Charming’s castle a 4 out of 5.
The Red Queen’s Castle, Alice in Wonderland
What can we say about this one? The surrounding grounds are… unusual. And although the castle itself was probably really nice once, it’s kind of falling apart at this point. Maybe because the Red Queen herself is almost as much of as mess as the exterior of this place. We hate to say it, but we’re giving the Red Queen’s castle a 1 out of 5.
Prince Eric’s Castle, The Little Mermaid
Look how this castle literally sits right on the beach. It doesn’t get more picturesque than this. It’s also an unique architectural style. We’re loving the rounded windows and the varying sizes of the spires. Prince Eric’s castle gets a 4.5 out of 5.
Beast’s Castle, Beauty and the Beast
Beast’s castle is enchanted. A major bonus. Yeah, it looks slightly foreboding on the outside when it’s under the spell (we’re actually partial to the gargoyles). But like so many things, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Never-ending libraries, grand ballrooms, talking inanimate objects; this castle has it all. It’s like two castles for the price of one, because when it transforms it is truly glorious. When can we move in? Beast’s castle gets a 5 out of 5.
Castle Dunbroch, Brave
Now this is a castle. We’re getting a distinctly medieval vibe from the stone and architecture (as well as those teeny windows soldiers used to shoot arrows out of). Once again, we encounter a castle set within beautiful scenery. We’re almost transported to Scotland just looking at it. We also like the tents set up for the tournament. Every castle needs a tournament, are we right? Castle Dunbroch gets a 4 out of 5.
Princess Jasmine’s Castle, Aladdin
Talk about a showstopper. This castle involves gold. Need we say more? It is literally an oasis in the desert. There are fountains, there is a domesticated tiger, there are hidden lairs. There’s also a really high wall that keeps undesirables out. So, built-in security system. We’re giving Princess Jasmine’s castle a 4.5 out of 5.
This castle has its own island. If we lived here, we could fulfill our dual wish of living in a castle and having a private island, simultaneously. Also, it’s gorgeous. This one must’ve taken forever to build. AND they do that lantern thing once a year, which is pretty magical. Rapunzel’s castle gets a 5 out of 5.
Glinda’s Castle, Oz The Great and Powerful
The land surrounding Glinda’s castle is stunning. Plus, we’re assuming we could get there via bubble, which is exciting. It also has a magical shield that protects it from evil, which is a nice perk. Also, Glinda lives there and we want to be her BFF. We give Glinda’s castle a 4 out of 5.
There you have it! Do you agree with our arbitrary castle ratings? Let us know in the comments!